It’s 10:32 PM and I’m just here laying down, waiting for tomorrow to start so I can await for tomorrow so I can repeat the whole routine all over again.

My days have been so uneventful.. I’ve been thinking about this for a while now and I have come to the realization that this is probably how it’s going to be for a long long time from now, despite the fact that I’ll be eighteen years old in about seven months.

After graduation, my summer is probably going to be uneventful, as always. When my birthday comes along nothing is going to change either. I’ll still not be able to drive, won’t be able to work, won’t be able to go out, etc.

There is just nothing for me to look forward to.. I’ve been stuck here in this household for so long and I’m just yearning for some freedom here. You can’t blame me. This is normal for an adolescent like me to have a need for some distance from our comfort zone.

My parents aren’t bad or as strict as it may presume. But all I’m asking for is for them to trust me and allow me to branch out.

But that’s not gonna happen. From what I know, I’m assuming that the only way I would be able to get what I want is to move out. But that’s not something that I’m willing to do because I’m not trying to stray away from my family so quickly like that as they expect me to.

I don’t even ask them for anything. At all. I’ve been willing to put what I want aside to go along with what my parents expect me to do.

..this sucks. I don’t know what to do. Because of this all the hope I had just kind of gotten sucked dry and now I have no motivation to do anything at all.