Today at church I witnessed my baby cousin in the arms of my mom. 

I literally paused for a moment and I swear I felt my heart skip a beat when I saw them together.

Throughout everything that is going on within our family, she has her niece in her arms.

I never thought I’d see the day..

I’ve wondered what it would be like if this whole situation were to never happen and my mom was able to see my cousin in a regular basis. Knowing how much my mom loves my other cousins, I know how heartbroken she must be to be away from them and to not spend time with the new addition to the family..

Lol, I can picture my mom buying a mountain filled with clothes for baby Angely.. 

I would like to hope that seeing them together is a sign that things are progressing; let’s keep our fingers crossed.

However, there is a set back that is refraining myself from enjoying this moment as much as I should be..

She is just a baby, I know. And I have nothing against her because there she has not done anything to make me have those feelings towards her. But I do feel a bit jealous..

Whenever I see my baby cousin, I can’t help but feel a bit sad. For a while now I couldn’t figure out why but then I came to the conclusion that it was because whenever I look at her when I am in her presence I tend to have flashbacks of the days when I was the young one and everyone paid attention to me..

I guess you can say that having the spotlight taken away from you after so long is hard to cope with for me.

Those were my memories that I shared with, you know? And whenever I look at my family members doing the exact same things that they did to me when I was little makes me feel like those memories I share with them are being replaced.

I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.